ROUND ONE: PHOTO CHALLENGES

You voted, you created, you shared your thinkings...

NOW WE PLAY.

#1A: Who wore it better and why?

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MICHAEL?

CARA?

Higher Degree of Difficulty.

It's all about the legs, and Cara doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Chest hair and beard match the skirt, TO DIE FOR. 

Cross dressing as comedy is overrated

I mean, she has a snake. ​

Not ashamed of her lack of belly hair. 

#1B: Who wore it better and why?

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ZAYDEN

Cutest kid in the world. 

Who is Zayden?

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LEIGH & ARLENE

Nice to get a glimpse in the cruise ship restaurant break room. 

Nothing screams "mother/daughter" bonding like looking as though you were just walking the streets together.

They aren't actually wearing the bowtie. 

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NATHAN?

Nathan is the only one who actually knows how to tie a bowtie.

Bowtie takes attention away from Nathan's 5head.

Richard. 

#1C: Which horse wore Michael better and why?

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*real* horse

He's got a beer in this one. 

Reminiscent of Vladimir Putin riding his horse topless.

Who's to say which horse is real???? 

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*art* horse

Art horse looks happy to be there. 

Concerned that the real horse might collapse under the weight. 

 He seems to be proud to wear his Michael whereas the real horse looks like he’s ashamed and hoping his friend’s don’t see him.

#2: Submit a re-creation of at least two of the following photos.

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A

B

C

#3: Complete the text bubbles.

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3A

Someday I'll be able to afford sleeves.

My life is shit.

 Wait, what language do deaf people think in?

Can't decide between Moby Dick and Ulysses as my favorite book.

I should’ve ordered the enchiladas.

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3B

Where's luby's?

They don’t have a bellboy but they did give me this to help with our luggage.

Well, I guess Arlene left me again...

They told me there would be wine.

Hello??  The nice fella at the gas station said I could get discount drugs here.  Do you accept competitor coupons?

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3C

I'M NEVER TRUSTING YOUR DAD'S FORCAST AGAIN. 

Did you fart?

I can't believe Matt wouldn't let me wear a jacket for this picture..

And that's how I made $1,000 off my Diablo character.

One of us is freezing our ass off.

I love me a man in uniform.

Where's luby's?

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3D

MAH FAVORITE BOOK IS TV.

The shock treatments are working; really, they are.

I can't believe my eyes.

Wait a minute, I married into what???

Whut in the hoo-diddy?!??!!!

Damn, are you telling me I lost a dance competition to Richard

Am I supposed to smell burning?

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3E

"I hope that's an empty bottle Scott. You can't afford to waste good liquor on your salary"

Get the F*** away from our wine

They mostly come out at night . . . mostly.

Boy, are you retarded?

Oh wonderful, Laura wants another kodak moment.  Smile!

Four shots of tequila please!!

#4: Name one thing *so* wrong and one thing *so* right with the following photos: 

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4A

RIGHT HAND, WRONG COUNTRY.

 

So right: Scott made the game!  So wrong: Where's the shirt stain?!

Wrong- backlighting. Right- everything else.

His presence here is so wrong. TV, so right.

Right:  Scott is actually happy.  Wrong:  Scott looks like the Wendy’s mascot

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4B

So right: Richard's sleeve length.

So wrong: Matt's sleeve length..

Right:  It’s colorful. 

Wrong:  Vagina background

There is nothing wrong nor right about this picture. It just is.

Wrong: Richard is sober. Right: Nothing.

Right - Venus de Milo lives.  Wrong -  seasickness is heading in.

Right - Loving family photo  Wrong - No one can know the drama behind the smiles

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4C

So right: 90s style.  So wrong: failure to become an optometrist in a family that needs one so.

Wrong: The B is baseball is not capitalized and he's wearing a tablecloth. Right: His haircut.

Right:  The bowl haircut.  Wrong:  The smug ass smile.

Used the wrong size bowl.  Right - plaid is always right..

#5: Share the longest possible sentence that captures the true essence of each of the following photos: 

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5A

What we have here is a grand baby looking at a grandpa who is hollering at said grand baby, who is, in turn, hollering back (while also appearing a bit surprised by the whole interaction).

 

Richard "So, Nate-- " Did I ever tell you about my career as a meteorologist at NASA?... (28 minutes later) Nate, Nate.. wake up. I'm ah... ready to be done yet" 

Once upon a time there was a boy named Nate who had a grandpa named Richard- well, actually some people called him Rich, but that's not really important to the story, and anyway, this is more about Nate than Richard, but I just thought we should be clear, because sometimes people are very particular about their nicknames and I don't want to offend anyone, especially m father-in-law (did I mention that he was my father in law?) who just so happened to move across the country and buy a house a mile or two away from mine, which is fine, really, but it does mean that keeping the relationship healthy is even more important since who knows how long he'll be around- I mean just around the corner- ready to pop  out and say hello, which is fine, really, it just changes your perspective on things a bit and...what was I talking about again?

Picture if you will a phone call that strikes terror into the very deepest recesses of your mind, a mind that just recently had been having pleasant dreams of milk and cookies and loving arms, only to be jerked away by the insane expression on a crazy man in a purple corduroy shirt that had definitely seen better days - the man and the shirt.

No one told me when I was pushed into this world after 12+ hours of labor that I would then be forced to watch an old man open his mouth and yell at me like some crazy creature from outer space who can't find anything better to occupy his time.

GRANDAD HOW ARE YOU HERE NOW WHEN YOU AREN’T ACTUALLY HERE BUT I’M SEEING YOU AND WE ARE SOMEHOW TALKING EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE NOT HERE AND I CAN’T TALK

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5B

Just two guys trying to eat their sausages, and corn, and hamburgers, and cornichons, and mushrooms, and what looks like potatoes, in peace. 

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there existed a farm that grew corn,  not just any corn, but the sweetest, most succulent, plumpest corn that ever existed on any farm on any planet, grown by the sweetest, most succulent, plumpest farmers that ever existed on any farm on any planet in the galaxy that was far, far away. 

We ate.

Eat food good.

Eat.

Michael-- "You know Charlie we decided -- as kinda as a family, group-- that in order to break the bonus round we need to know each other's vital info and so i was talking to all the family members over the last week-- and everyone has been super cooperative sharing their vital info code... kinda like a family spirit of collaboration has washed over everyone-- and so, ours is EL and Arlene and Richard's is WE and Laura and Matt's AS and Cara and Sergio is NG. So hey now brother, in the spirit of being the team player we know you are-- can we have your vital info?"   Charlie - ...
 

We love tacos !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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5C

Who's our baby boy... Zayden's our baby boy... who's our good boy... Zayden's our good boy... who's our smart boy... Zayden's our smart boy... Who's our sweet boy... Zayden's our sweet boy.

If only you knew the hell we've been going through trying to adjust to our move to Austin and opening a restaurant at the same time during a pandemic that just wont end thanks to some crazy dude in the white house who continues to wreck havoc and divide this country but oh isn't Zayden the cutest thing ever. 

How are these two so happy when I screamed and cried all night long and pooped my pants and made sure to throw up all over myself immediately after being changed into a new onesie with an obscene amount of snaps

Once upon a time there was a beautiful boy child born into a family that included a mother who had traded her love of bright lights, ocean breezes and beer bottles for cowboy boots, mosquitos and other beer bottles and a father who had recently turned his back on waffles and eggs to look forward to a wonderful new future filled with waffles and eggs.

This doesn’t really have to do with the picture, per se, but I honestly thought that only “round one” questions were on this form and am just noticing that there’s more (required!) questions for me to answer which, because I’m woefully unprepared to answer them, I will just fill it out willy-nilly for now and hopefully come back to give real answers later. 

 

YOU'VE MADE IT TO ROUND 2!!